2/23/2009

From Manda to Dasma and Vice-Versa

I just got back to Mandaluyong from Dasmarinas, Cavite. I went there yesterday out of frustration here in Mandaluyong but I never thought I would experience even more frustration on my stay there.

We were all eating breakfast together in one table, me and my parents. It's already history that we talk about things in front of the table while eating. Suddenly while we were having the conversation on a good mood, my mother started asking about my studies. Well, I just told them what I had to say and what they needed to hear, the truth. I thought that was a good idea. I disregarded the thought of - them not understanding me. And so it happened. They begin to argue about my studies, about how I do things in school, and about what things I need in order for me to study well. What they didn't know is that they're just making me feel worse than ever.

I felt more ashamed of myself and had this big pressure coming down on me again. I thought I can have my vacation there that's why I left Manila, but then I just fail myself again, or whatever. When can I have peace? When I'm dead maybe.

I left them and went upstairs. I don't know what to say. I just burst into tears and started to make myself feel unpleasant... And you'll never really wanna know what I was thinking at that moment.

Whoa my blog is full of frustration already @_@